Ashen
by centreoftheselights
Summary: When Kanaya receives an unexpected proposition, she seeks advice on the mysterious ways of the auspistice.


The ashen quadrant, or auspisticising relationship, is extremely complicated, and full of subtleties which the uninitiated find almost impossible to understand. The same is true of most forms of romance, but in this case the confusion is widespread even among trolls, and many adults find it simpler to leave their ashen quadrant unfulfilled, never understanding what they have lost.

Those focussed on the concupiscent quadrants – a predilection found almost universally among the young, although one not uncommon at any age – often view an auspisticised relationship as a watered down version of its caliginous neighbour, necessary only to prevent black infidelities. While this view is not entirely incorrect – and may be an accurate description of the typical ashen relationship, if only due to clustering of common misconceptions around this topic – it fails to account for the most rewarding part of the auspistice experience.

As any wiggler knows, an auspisticistic romance requires three participants – two trolls involved caliginously, and a third to mediate between them. However, it is not the caliginous branch which holds the spirit of the ashen quadrant – this portion of the relationship is for all intents and purposes caliginous, and can even consist of a true kismesis pairing. No, it is the unique relationship between auspisticiser and auspisticisees that sets this quadrant apart from all the rest, characterising it uniquely as both black and conciliatory.

The conciliatory aspect is obvious: on the part of the auspisticisees, this relationship requires as much trust as any moirallegiance. However, while a pale romance is founded on the reciprocation of trust, the auspisticisees must reconcile themselves to the reality that the auspisticiser will not only never return their openness, but will be privy also to the confidences of their hated rival. Thus, a new form of rivalry is founded.

While moirails are expected to remain open and honest at all times, auspistices are expected to employ subterfuge and misdirection against one another, with the ultimate aim of manipulating their ashen partners into surrendering control of the relationship. As with a kismesissitude, this is ultimately never achieved, and if at any point one participant could command the relationship, the rivalry would be considered unworthy of them and abandoned.

Clearly, auspistice is unlike any other quadrant, and it is rightly considered impossible for one troll to act as auspistice and moirail or matesprit simultaneously, although many are tempted to try. However, it is not considered unusual for a troll to act as their auspisticiser's auspisticiser. Unlike the other quadrants, trolls are not expected to remain faithful to one auspistice relationship – but seeking an excessive number is considered an insult to all involved.

Ultimately, many trolls believe there is only one auspistice trio destined for them by serendipity. While this might appear to limit each troll to the role of auspisticiser or auspisticisee, in fact many believe that a true auspistice is entirely mutual, and no one auspisticiser can be determined. Some would even venture that in a truly fated auspistice, all trolls have total control of the relationship, but are so attuned to one another as to intend precisely the same outcome.

Obviously, taking an auspistice relationship to this stage too quickly is incredibly risky. For an auspistice to overstep their mark is at best, extremely embarrassing, and at worst, a total clusterfuck.

* * *

><p>CG: AND AT WORST A TOTAL CLUSTERFUCK.<p>

GA: Thank You

GA: I Believe That Answers Most Of My Questions Sufficiently

GA: Although I Am Certain Those Movies You Mentioned Are Very Good And Would Expand My Knowledge Greatly If I Had More Time To Watch Them

CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN MORE TIME?

CG: WHY DID YOU WANT TO KNOW ALL THIS ANYWAY?

CG: WAIT.

CG: STUPID QUESTION.

CG: WHO ARE YOU ASHEN FOR.

GA: Well

* * *

><p>caligulasAquarium began trolling grimAuxillatrix<p>

CA: hey kan

GA: Hey To You Too Eridan

GA: What Did You Want To Talk To Me About

CA: wwell

CA: nothin much

CA: i just wwanted to chat

CA: let you know that me and vvris are still gettin along horribly

CA: im pretty much pitch black for her

CA: an i reely think she hates me too

GA: That's Great

GA: I Am Sure You Two Will Be Great Rivals

CA: yeah

CA: wwere goin to burn this wwhole glubbin wworld

GA: So You Have Mentioned

GA: Many Times

GA: She Must Be Something Special

CA: shes a piece a wwork

CA: you reely should flarp wwith us sometime kan

GA: While I Am Sure That Would Be Fun

GA: And It Is Very Kind Of You To Extend These Invitations To Me

GA: Repeatedly

GA: Flarping Is Not Really My Thing

GA: Besides

GA: If You Two Are Waxing Black

GA: I Wouldn't Want To Be A Third Wheel

CA: you wwouldnt be intrudin

GA: I Know You Probably Don't Want Someone Else Around

GA: Meddling

CA: for glubs sake kan

CA: do i have to spell it out for you

GA: Spell What Out

CA: kan

CA: i wwas hopin

CA: wwell the truth is

CA: im wwaxing pretty ashen for you

GA: Oh

CA: i wwas hopin

CA: you wwould consider bein my auspistice

* * *

><p>CG: YOU HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE HE WAS GOING TO PROPOSITION YOU LIKE THAT.<p>

GA: I Suppose There Were Signs

GA: Truthfully I Suspected He Might Be Pale For Me

GA: He Was Always Talking About His Feelings For This Girl

GA: I Guess That Was Silly Of Me

GA: He Already Has A Moirail And She Is Lovely

GA: But I Guess I Never Really Considered Auspisticising Before

GA: So I Thought It Was Best To Ask Your Advice

CG: WELL YOU OBVIOUSLY CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE.

GA: I Thought It Was A Little Strange Him Asking Me To Auspisticise When He Had No Other Caliginous Interests

GA: But You Said Even Kismeses Can Form An Auspistice

CG: THE PURPOSE OF AN AUSPISTICE IS TO CONTROL THE CALIGINOUS RELATIONSHIP. THAT CAN MEAN RESTRAINING IT TO PREVENT BLACK INFIDELITY OR ENCOURAGING IT TO BLOSSOM INTO EVEN DEEPER HATE.

CG: THEY CAN STILL BE KISMESES IF THEY WANT TO BE.

CG: BUT YOU'D BETTER CHECK THAT'S WHAT THEY BOTH WANT OR IT WILL TURN INTO A TOTAL CLUSTERFUCK.

GA: I Suppose It Is Possible That AG Has Already Filled Her Black Quadrant

GA: Although Eridan Has Told Me A Lot About Her

GA: I Have Never Actually Spoken To Her

CG: WELL, ARE YOU INTERESTED?

GA: I Suppose I Am

CG: THEN YOU'D BETTER TALK TO THIS GIRL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU STAND.

GA: I Suppose I Should

CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL TALKING TO ME THEN?

carcinoGeneticist ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix

GA: Thank You

* * *

><p>grimAuxillatrix began trolling arachnidsGrip<p>

GA: Hello

AG: Who the hell are you?

GA: My Name Is Kanaya

GA: I Am Looking For Vriska Serket

GA: We Share A Mutual Acquaintance

GA: Eridan?

AG: Ooooooooh!

AG: You know Dualscar?

GA: Yes

GA: I Believe That Is His Role Playing Name

AG: Well I 8elieve that he won't shut up a8out you.

AG: So why are you talking to me?

AG: Passing on a message? ::::D

GA: No

GA: I

GA: Well

GA: I Presumed He Would Have Mentioned It To You

GA: Perhaps He Has Neglected To

AG: Whaaaaaaaat?

AG: Don't keep equivoc8ing.

AG: You'll get me excited. :::;)

GA: I Don't Want To Seem Presumptuous

GA: I Hardly Know You

GA: Perhaps I Should Leave It To Him To Explain

AG: Now you're just teasing me!

GA: Well

GA: If You Insist

GA: Eridan Asked Me To Auspisticise The Two Of You

AG: WHAT?

AG: Th8t rott8n conn8ving se8weed 8rain t8ld m8 he w8s SINGLE!

AG: I'll m8ke him p8y for th8s! ::::(

GA: I

GA: Well

GA: He Is Single

GA: I Think He Still Wants To Be Kismeses

GA: Even Kismeses Can Have An Auspistice To Encourage Their Rivalry

GA: Or So I Am Reliably Informed

AG: Oh.

AG: Okaaaaaaay.

AG: I guess that isn't so 8ad then.

AG: 8ut I'm tot8lly getting him 8ack for th8t one.

AG: That was pretty underh8nd of him.

AG: 8ut don't tell him I said that. :::;)

GA: Of Course Not

GA: And I Suppose You Should In No Way Underestimate The Slight He Was Attempting To Give You

GA: Which I Am Sure Was Entirely Intentional

GA: Also You Should Definitely Plan Your Revenge On Him

GA: Uh

GA: I Am Not Really Sure What I Should Be Saying

GA: I Am Fairly New At This

AG: You're doing gr8! ::::D

AG: I can see what Du8lscar sees in you.

AG: I just don't really think we neeeeeeeed an auspistice!

GA: Thank You

GA: I Think

GA: Are You Satisfied With The Arrangement Though

GA: Or At Least Willing To Direct All Negative Emotions Relating To It Towards Eridan

AG: I suppose I'll have to.

AG: At least for now.

AG: And if it doesn't work out I guess at least I met you! :::;)

GA: Yes

GA: There Is That

AG: See you around, Kan8ya!

AG: o8

arachnidsGrip ceased trolling grimAuxillatrix

* * *

><p>grimAuxillatrix began trolling carcinoGeneticist<p>

CG: YOU'RE BACK.

CG: DID YOU TALK TO HER?

GA: Yes

CG: HOW DID IT GO?

GA: Well

GA: I Think

GA: This May Be More Complicated Than I Thought


End file.
